Bridesmaid – Do I or Don’t I?

Most bridesmaids are selected because they have a close friendship or family connection with the bride. Dare I say it, I have noticed some bridesmaids are selected purely for their outstanding organisational skills and authoratitive leadership because the bride knows she will perform her duties and act the perfect bridesmaid.

If you’ve been asked to take a role in the wedding party, make sure you are emotionally and financially available for it. Do you have the time for all the pre-wedding engagements, get togethers and wedding planning? Do you have the extra finances to purchase the Hen night, your dress, shoes, accessories, and hotel if required?

Over the years I’ve picked up some helpful bridesmaids do’s and don’t so if you’re a bridesmaid in waiting, read the below before saying “I will”:



Do: Make sure you’re up for the job emotionally and financially. Less damage will be done to your friendship if you kindly decline a bridesmaid rather than accepting and not living up to the responsibilities.


Do: Check in with the bride every month by giving her a call and asking how you can help.  This may seem tedious and unnerving as to what will happen next, but most of the time the bride is just looking for emotional support and that phone call will mean the world to her.


Do: Look after the bride on the wedding day to make sure she’s a happier version of herself. Get her a drink if her glass if empty, tell her when she needs a new coat of lipstick, and replace her louboutins with a pair of flip flops when her feet start to ache.


Do: Check your emotions at the door. If the bride does something that upsets you, you need to let it go. The bride will be extremely emotional on the wedding day and a fight with her best friend would be seen as the start of a bad day.


Don’t: Disappear throughout the planning process and especially on the wedding day. You’ve accepted a supporting role so you need to live up to it. I’ve witnessed far too many bridesmaids consume an excessive amount of alcohol and ignore all bridesmaid responsibilities on the day.


Don’t: Get too inebriated on the wedding day. You are there to represent the bride and her family. Likewise, don’t complain or badmouth anyone on the day. Smile for the camera!


Don’t: Assume the type of party your bride wants for her Hen night. Give her various suggestions then involve her in the planning.


Don’t: Make the day about you. As exciting as it is to look glamorous and make a grand entrance, you must remember that the wedding day is about your friend and the celebration of her marriage.



  1. Stupendous! Remember me, Peter? I was best man for Robin & Terry. The wedding was bonkers. My gal Lydia and I have gotten engaged! Won’t tie it up until 2013…. Any advice for a long engagement period?

  2. you wrote a very good article. and i like it well!

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