Oct 13

Wedding nightmares

There’s just ten days to go until the wedding – and I’d be lying to you if I said I was feeling calm and relaxed about the fastly-approaching big day. In fact, getting married still seems like a bit of an abstract idea and although I’m definitely working through my ‘things to do’ list efficiently and ticking things off on a daily basis, I still can’t get my head around the fact that I’ll be walking down the aisle in a little over a week.

My subconscious doesn’t seem to need reminding, though! For months now I’ve been suffering from a serious case of bride-to-be nightmares, and my awful dreams have only got worse – and more frequent – the nearer to the wedding we’ve got. Last night, I jolted awake in a panic having had my most recurring nightmare yet again.

Apparently these wedding nightmares are very common. Still disturbing, though...

Apparently these wedding nightmares are very common. Still disturbing, though…

Picture the scene: it’s my wedding day, my excited guests are all in their seats and Sean’s waiting for me at the altar – and I’m just waking up, oblivious to the fact I’m about to get married. My mum coaxes me into my wedding dress but it doesn’t fit properly, I don’t have makeup on because I slept through my appointment with the makeup artist, ditto the hairdresser, and I forgot to fake tan the night before.

There are variations on the theme. Sometimes I wake up, it’s my wedding day, and I’m not even in the country and can’t get home in time. Other times I wake up and nobody has remembered to collect my dress from the boutique in Oxford. But they’re always so vivid. Like exam dreams, but worse!

This one made me laugh

This one made me laugh

This isn’t the only affliction I’m facing. Absolutely everything is making me cry. I can’t get through the readings we’ve chosen for the ceremony without my face crumpling into a teary mess, I can’t practice our first dance because it makes me cry… I was watching an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians the other day and Kim saying her vows to Kris Humphries set off the waterworks. And we all know that marriage only lasted 72 days!

What’s wrong with me?! Let’s just hope that everything that could potentially go wrong only goes wrong in my dreams – and thank God my makeup artist is amazing, and has promised that my entire face will be waterproof. I think it’s going to need to be…

Aug 13

Keeping the dress hush hush (and other wedding traditions…)

I’m usually brilliant at surprises and keeping things under wraps. But I have to admit – I’m finding it so difficult to keep my wedding dress a secret from Sean! It all started a couple of weeks ago, when I went back to Oxford for my very first dress fitting at the Bridal Box.

I had butterflies in the run up to the visit and could only pick at my food when my mum, my sister and I went for lunch and bellinis beforehand. I was just so nervous – what if I hated my dress? What if it looked terrible on me? What if I was completely wrong about everything and it just wasn’t what I wanted? After all, when else would I ever buy an important outfit in January that I wasn’t going to be wearing until the following October?

Clink clink! There's always time for a cocktail pre wedding dress fitting, right? My sister, my mum and I think so...

Clink clink! There’s always time for a cocktail pre wedding dress fitting, right? My sister, my mum and I think so…

“Don’t worry, brides always arrive wondering if they’re still going to like their dress,” Dusanka, the lovely boutique owner, reassured me, after greeting us all like we were long lost friends and making us each a cup of coffee. “You’re going to love it. You chose this dress for a reason. Just you wait!”

Of course, she was absolutely right. Looking at my beautiful dress in the mirror, I was so relieved and so happy I could have cried. It was so much better than I could even have imaged.

“What do you think?” I asked, beaming, as I threw open the fitting room curtain to show my mum and Vez, who hadn’t been with us when we bought it.

Their reactions said it all. I hadn’t made a mistake. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face on the train the whole way back to London, and then I couldn’t stop looking at the photos we’d taken. (I still can’t, I scroll through them in a daydream when I’m bored on the tube. Sean is under strict instruction not to look through the photos on my phone in case he stumbles across them…) I was so happy I thought I was going to burst – yet I couldn’t even show him what I was so thrilled about.

It got me thinking about wedding traditions and where they stem from. I mean – why shouldn’t I show him the dress? (For the record, there’s absolutely no way on this earth that I will. He doesn’t know what style, material, shape, designer or even colour that I’ve gone for and it will remain that way until he sees me walking down the aisle. He agrees, he wants it to be a surprise – but I know plenty of brides who haven’t been so hush hush. And apparently, some brides even go wedding dress shopping with their grooms!).

I’m not hugely superstitious, and I have relented with one thing I thought I wanted to keep quiet. I wasn’t going to tell Sean anything about the bridesmaids’ dresses – but that went down the pan when we went to choose suits for him and the ushers and he was insisting on cravats in a hue that would have ruined the entire colour scheme of the wedding…

But other traditions we’ll be observing include not spending the night before the wedding together. No – Sean and the boys have commandeered the only pub in the village where we’re tying the knot so I’ll be in a cottage in the grounds of our venue with my mum, my mother in law, my sister, my grandma, my bridesmaids, a beautician, and any other female family/ friends who are on site and want to come over for a glass or two of fizz.

I’ve nearly decided on my something old (my grandma’s wedding ring), something new (my dress, obviously), something borrowed (perhaps some pearl earrings borrowed off my mum?) and something blue (…drawing a blank!), which is another tradition I don’t want to risk shunning.

I’m sure I’ll also throw my bouquet… but needless to say I won’t be walking down the aisle with a bunch of garlic and dill. Apparently that tradition, which has evolved into us carrying bouquets, originated in the times of the plague, when people covered their noses and mouths in a bid to just stay alive.

I also won’t be dressing my bridesmaids as clones of myself, which used to be done to try and trick evil spirits into not knowing which of them was the bride. (And therefore making them unable to curse her and her marriage, I suppose?) Evil spirits are also the reason behind wearing a veil. Which I will be doing – but purely for aesthetic purposes..!

Feb 13

Bridesmaids and bridesmen

Picking my bridesmaids was probably the easiest thing I’ve had to do wedding-wise. I’m having my sister Verity and four of my best friends, my gorgeous goddaughter Lizzie, who’s eight (and lives in New York… tricky in terms of dressing her!), and our niece Matilda, who will be two when we get married.

But, since going to the National Wedding Show this weekend, I’m wishing I’d waited a bit longer to ask them all. On one of the stalls I saw these lovely balloons that had ‘Will you be my bridesmaid?’ printed on them. Such a lovely touch. I wish I’d thought of something like that sooner.

All my bridesmaids said yes, so I’m pleased to report the balloon isn’t a deal breaker. But even so, if I could rewind and do it again, complete with giant, floating helium messages, I totally would!

for the blog

My mum, my sister and I were at the National Wedding Show when we found these bridesmaid ideas. We also had fun trying out the photo booths… I think we definitely need one at the wedding!

Turns out there are loads of lovely ways to pop the all-important bridesmaid question. Cards, baked goods, personalised champagne flutes. It’s left me feeling very inadequate. Am I the only bride-to-be who doesn’t know about all this stuff? I feel like I’ve somehow cheated my bridal party out of something that would have been really special!

So – who are the adult bridesmaids? Five very, very special people – not one of whom I could imagine not being by my side when I walk down the aisle.

There’s Charlotte, who I met when we were both living in Madrid. We bonded over tinto de veranos, a penchant for Daddy Yankee and a mad flat with mirrors for walls and rooms with no windows. Char is a food writer and the most amazing cook I know. I am also very honoured that she’s taking on an extra wedding duty – making our wedding cake. (More about that at a later date.)

Will you be my bridesmaid?

Then there’s Hol. We met at school when we were 11 and both wearing black padded hair bands with our names printed on them in glitter. So 90s! We grew up together loving Take That, ‘Grease 2 and garlic parties’ and making up dance routines to Motown songs, and I cried buckets when we both went off to separate universities. When she tied the knot last summer I was SO proud to be her bridesmaid, too.

I was Hol's bridesmaid in May last year

I was Hol’s bridesmaid in May last year

Next up, James. Yes – I’m breaking with tradition and having a bridesman. (What will he wear…?! I’m thinking a suit with maybe a cravat or tie to match the colour of the bridesmaids’ dresses?) Whether we’re going to Ancient Egyptian monuments dressed as members of a famous girl band (don’t ask) or hunting out non-existent techno parties in Paris, he has always, always been there for me and I know he always will be.

Then there’s Sarah, my partner in crime from university. Sarah and I have been in so many scrapes over the years – usually getting locked in foreign banks, skiing in dresses, or taking inflatable parrots on holiday. Sarah got engaged herself a fortnight ago and has asked me to be her bridesmaid, too. (And she wasn’t onto the balloon idea, either… not just me, then!) I am so excited that we’ll both be planning our weddings together. It’s almost as though our respective fiancés planned it! (They didn’t.)

And last but not least, Verity. My little sister, so obviously first in line for bridesmaid duties. She’s gorgeous and has great taste, so I’ll be needing her help choosing flowers, decorations and accessories, and more importantly to tell me how I should wear my hair. (She is much better at these things than I am.) It was Vez who masterminded the initial idea for my hen do – a long weekend in Marbella – and Vez who chose the bridesmaids’ dresses. Already worth her weight in gold!

In fact, the bridesmaids’ dresses were actually one of the first things we bought for the wedding. I was shopping in the sales after boxing day when it suddenly struck me that if I wanted dresses in autumnal colours, and dresses from the high street, I’d have to buy them sharpish – as the next time they’ll be in the shops will be late August this year. That would be cutting it way too fine.

A few days later Vez went and found the perfect ones while on a shopping trip with my mum. She said they were lovely – and they are. We bought an extra one too to make sashes for Lizzie and Matilda’s dresses, and a cravat/ tie for James, so now we just need to decide on hair, shoes and accessories…


Feb 13

The dress

As I’m only planning on ever buying one wedding dress, and it’s supposed to be the most important dress I will ever buy, I decided to make a weekend of it. After a couple of months of flipping through bridal magazines, I felt like I had an idea of what I wanted, so my mum and I booked an overnight stay at Raymond Blanc’s incredible Le Manoir (which you can read more about by clicking here) and headed to Oxford on a very snowy weekend last month, armed with a strict budget set out by my groom-to-be and a clear idea of what I wanted, style-wise and designer-wise, in mind.

Raymond Blanc's Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons was the perfect place to stay while on the hunt for the all-important dress

Raymond Blanc’s Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons was the perfect place to stay while on the hunt for the all-important dress

But all of that went out of the window once we arrived for our appointment at The Bridal Box. “What sort of thing are you looking for?” asked the lovely owner, after she’d given us some glossy look books and made us cups of tea. “Umm…,” I replied, my mind suddenly blank. And this, despite the fact I feel like I’ve done nothing but look at wedding dresses for weeks on end!

The truth is, when you’re faced with so many big white dresses in an abundance of different styles, where do you even begin? Do you want lace? Satin? Sparkle? A full-on meringue? A train? Strapless? Sleeves? Fish tail? It’s so overwhelming!

Here we are on our dress-hunting minibreak!

Here we are on our dress-hunting minibreak!

Not as overwhelming as the first time you actually try one on, though. I’ve been engaged for a few months now, but I was still unprepared for looking… well, for looking so much like a bride. I didn’t even look like me! It took me a good ten minutes to get over it and actually work out if I liked the first dress or not.

I did. In fact, I liked them all. We’d chosen a selection of about 12 in the end – mainly from the designer I thought I wanted, but with a few others thrown in for good measure, too. And lots of different styles. And yes – I liked them all. Which wasn’t very helpful, to be honest. How on earth do you make a decision? I was worried I’d never have that ‘moment’ that everyone keeps banging on about.

Wedding dresses galore from baby doll, to fishtail and even Cinderella...

Wedding dresses galore from baby doll to fishtail to Cinderella…

But I did. After about two hours of trying on dresses (when, I think, my mum might have been losing the will to live – neither of us enjoy clothes shopping at the best of times and this was a long old slog) I had the ‘this is The One’ moment. I couldn’t stop smiling, I didn’t want to take it off. I almost felt like the dress chose me, the feeling that it was my wedding dress was so strong! And it was definitely not the sort of dress I thought I’d end up wanting.

We went away and slept on it, of course. It’s not the sort of purchase you want to rush into. But the dress was all we could talk about that night, and by the next morning I knew that no matter how many I tried on from then on in, nothing would quite match up.

So I went back, tried it on again (you can never be too sure!), paid a hefty deposit and that was that. Another box ticked!

Obviously I can’t write much about my wedding dress – this is top secret information. So instead, I’ve put together a few tips for fellow brides to be who haven’t started the dress hunt yet…

The suite we were staying in - the beautiful Orangerie

The suite we were staying in – the beautiful Orangerie


Tips when looking for wedding dresses:

1) Wear nice underwear! When you try on bridal dresses the shop assistants help you in and out of the gowns – which I didn’t know until a friend who was a bride last summer warned me. I’m glad she did…! A nude colour is best, and try to make sure your bra has removeable straps.

2) Be super-organised. I thought I was totally on the case – there’s still a good nine months left until the wedding, after all – but I was informed that actually, I was cutting it a little fine. Wedding dresses take a good six months to be ordered, made, and shipped back to the bridal shop – and then you need extra fittings on top of that. So look early!

3) Take someone whose opinion you trust – and who is willing to tell you when something looks awful on you. I must admit I was tempted to go wedding dress shopping with my mum, my sister and all my bridesmaids (more about them in another post to come), and sip champagne while everyone cooed over how gorgeous the dresses look. But I think that only happens in Hollywood! Or to people who have the exact same taste as everyone else they know. In reality, everyone has a different opinion, you end up feeling totally stressed, and it’s hard to get a feel for what you actually think yourself. My mum is my harshest critic and I trust her to tell me when I look rubbish – and likewise, when I look good.

4) Book an appointment. Most bridal boutiques will need you to phone ahead and reserve a time to try on their dresses. Some will even charge you a fee.

5) Keep an open mind. I’ve lost track of how many people have told me they ended up choosing a wedding dress that was nothing like what they were expecting. And I have now joined their ranks! Choose a few ‘wildcard’ options – you never know, one of them might end up being ‘The One’.

6) Ask the owner of the shop if you’re allowed to take photos. Most won’t let you (because you could then take a photo of a designer dress to a dressmaker and have it copied) but if you politely suggest you take a few snaps that you’ll delete before leaving the premises, you might just twist their arm. It’s helpful to scroll back through the different looks because, in my experience, you’ve forgotten what the last one was like the minute you put on the next.

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