It seems like an age ago I made the trip to the stationary shop with Linda so sort out the invitations. Actually it was April.
When they finally arrived, complete with their beautifully hand-written addressed envelopes – I couldn’t wait to send them out.
Like a total sad case I sat up till one in the morning putting them all into the correct envelopes (Spanish ones for the Spanish speakers, and English ones for the Brits – naturally).
Then the next day I rushed off to the post office and spent 30 Euros on stamps. I couldn’t get the darn things into the post box fast enough.
That was it – It felt real. The invites were out. So I sat down and just waited for the RSVPs to come rushing in… But it just hasn’t happened.
To date I’ve had about 5 RSVPs – totaling about ten guests. The atmosphere might be a bit flat in our 100-person dining room with that number.
And most of those are from our lovely invitees who are super keen and super excited, and have been telling me from the start they’d be there with bells and whistles on.
Granted, it’s only been a couple of weeks since they started dropping through people’s letterboxes – so maybe I need to be a bit more patient.
In fact I need to be a lot more patient. After turning to my friend the internet (as I often do with wedding doubts and questions) it seems that this is a common problem. One poor girl was even saying that with two weeks to go before her wedding she only had about 30 of her 200 guests accounted for. Shouldn’t she have been phoning them?
I’ll admit it, I’m starting to get a bit of wedding paranoia. What if no-one comes? What if I have to bring my dog and invite my favourite bus driver just to stop it looking sad and lonely?
I know that a lot of our invitees just assume we know they’ll definitely be there, so they don’t need to RSVP.
But there are some who’ve said they’re not sure if they can make it – and I bet it’s those ones who remain all quiet on the reply front.
I totally understand that times are tough and weddings are expensive – and people might be waiting to see if they can scrape together enough cash. But one way or another I really need to know.
The big problem for us is that that we’ve provisionally booked hotel rooms for guests coming from abroad (which are a sizeable amount). So we need to firm up who won’t be needing them, or start inviting people on the b list to take their place.
But I how do I get people to commit or politely decline?
We tried to make it as easy as possible for people to RSVP – I put my email and phone number on the invites so people don’t have to bother posting a reply card. Hopefully that will help. Fingers crossed anyway.
I’ve heard people say that waiting for the RSVPs is one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding – I think they might be right.
I look back at all the times I’ve been a bad guest – leaving it really late in replying. In one case I think I didn’t even reply at all, and just thought ‘Oh they’ll just assume I’m not coming’.
Oh how I would like to go back in time and give myself a good Chinese burn for being so rude.
I vow, from this day forward to be a prompt RSVP-er – I had no idea just how much grief it can cause!