“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Anger is something that we all feel from time to time. It is a natural emotion and like most emotions there is nothing wrong with it when it happens in response to a certian type of situation. Anger can of course be incredably motivating, it can cause us to stand up for what we believe in, to change our lives, to change society, to defend ourselves and others. However for some anger is a far too familiar feeling, some live with anger on a daily basis, anger that is triggered by anything and everything. If we see someone act in a cruel way towards another person or if someone acts in a cruel way towards us then it is natural and healthy that we should become momentarily angered by this, but if somone leaves the lid off the toothpaste and we find ourselves spending the day getting wound up and angry about it then we need a look at our anger, at what is causing that anger and our response to it.
The problem with anger is that it upsets us, there can be no peace of mind while we are angry. If on the odd occasion you become angry then its is not such a big deal, we get angry and then we calm down. However if we are angry all the time we dont get the chance to calm down, this means that we are never at peace.
Why am i angry all the time?
If anger is a problem for you then all of the tiny triggers that make you angry are not the problem. The reason you are angry is because of a much deeper issue. It could be anything but it will be something that has left you feeling deeply unsatisfied with life, something that has deeply hurt you. It could even be several things that put together have left you with a negative feeling about yourself and the world around you. You then move through life like a loaded gun, whenever something happens that you dont like it taps into the already brewing and bubbling resevior of anger within you and you get ANGRY. It is as if everytime something happens that we dont like it remind us how angry we are with life, as if every minor thing that doesnt go our way is an affirmation or a reminder of how unfair life is.
How can i stop being angry all the time?
- meditate, go for walks, stop living life at a thousand miles an hour. If you want to be happy and at peace with yourself and the world around you then you need to learn to relax and take a break. If you dont give your mind a chance to relax then ofcourse you are going to end up stressed and angry.
- Accept responsibility for your anger, it isnt someone elses fault that you are angry. It isnt claire’s fault that you are angry because SHE is using YOUR coffee mug at work, the anger is yours, take responsibilty for it. It is your emotion and it arises within your mind. It is only when we take responibility for something that we truly have the power to change it.
- Discover what is making you angry. You need to address the root cause of your anger. You may want someone else to help you. A good therapist can help you see what it causing your anger and help you to deal with it.
- Dont get stuck in the past. We dont need to keep holding on to the past, it has happened, its over. If we cant move on then all we are doing is living in the past and that isnt healthy.
- Forgive. Forgive people who have done you wrong. Forgiveness is something that frees us from our negative feelings, resolves anger and brings peace of mind
- Realise that the things that have left you feeling so angry with life are actually opportunities for growth. With the right kind of understanding and insight the things you suffer from today will become your strength in the future. The lessons we learn from understanding and overcoming our problems are invaluable to us. Although we might never wish these lessons upon ourselves they are in fact the making of us. It is up to us how you deal with lifes challenges, they can be a curse or a blessing depending on the way we look at them and how we deal with them.
Ultimately we must come to accept that life doesnt always give us what we want but it often gives us what we need. What we need to become wiser and more compassionate, what we need to develop insight and become healthy and mature adults. So dont sit there feeling angry about everything that has happened to you, life doesnt always go our way, accept that and move on. If we are to find peace of mind we need to surrender to life and accept its ups and downs. If we approach these ups and downs with the right attitude then we have the opportunity to turn whatever comes our way into something wonderful.
Cornelius is a mind and meditation expert he has clinics and classes across London and Berkshire. He is also the cofounder of Bodhimaya and holds transformative meditation, yoga and detoxification retreats in the UK and around the world. For more information please visit www.bodhimaya.com
image credit : lovefilm