June, 2014

25 June
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My day date with Ben

Ben and I had texted each other a fair amount when he was away and he didn’t beat around the bush in asking me if I would like to meet him for lunch on the Monday he returned.  I was pretty excited to meet him even though I had contemplated giving up The Game.  I think I had come to the conclusion that I just wasn’t interested in wasting my time with the other guys when I new I didn’t feel that spark I was after.

 

Monday arrived and it was a beautiful sunny day!  What a perfect day for lunch in a pub garden.   This is the first day date I had ever been on, I wanted to look nice but also didn’t want to over do it……..  I wore a cute little white dress from Lavish Alice with a pair of flip flops, wavy girly hair and pretty day time make-up.  I was ready to meet the guy that had given me butterflies for two weeks without even speaking to me.  Please please don’t let this be a let down!

 

Sorry I do not have any piccies from the date but below you can see how I achieved my day date look.  (more on the date underneath)

 

Cute Girly Dress from Lavish Alice – In the sale now for just £10 (bargain) – http://www.lavishalice.com/clothing-c1/dresses-c2/white-pleated-capped-sleeve-v-neck-structured-dress-p960

 

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Girly day time make-up

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Wavy Locks like Lauren Pope’s…. You can achieve these with a wand or hair straightners.  Mine are from Cloud Nine and I love them http://www.cloudninehair.com/all-products

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You can also buy the most amazingly natural clip-in hair extensions from – http://www.hairrehablondon.com if you are struggling to achieve this wavy look on your own hair.  I know Lauren wears these hair extensions and her hair always looks amazing!!!!

I always love using my eye shadow palette from Smashbox to do pretty day time eyes. – http://www.smashbox.co.uk/product/12287/28675/Full-Exposure/FULL-EXPOSURE-PALETTE/New/index.tmpl

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Ben was 20 minutes late…… Good start Benny Boy.  However I took the opportunity to have a glass of Pimms at the bar to calm my nerves.  Ben pulled into the car park and I walked outside to meet him, as he walked towards me my heart jumped into my throat.  He was lovely!  His smile was beaming and I loved this.

 

We sat down in the pub garden and chatted and laughed for two hours…… I was really gutted to have to leave because I was having so much fun but I had to pick Poppy up from school. When I got home I texted him to say……  “I think I love you”  he texted me back straight away to say “I defo love you”  awwwwwwww  no games just straight down the line cuteness. We obviously didn’t love each other at this point but we were just being cute!  This is exactly what I want from a guy……… so I felt like I had hit the jackpot.  I just wonder if the cuteness will last!

 

Ben texted me that evening to ask when I was free again, I thought it was really good that he had asked to see me again the same day, there are way to many games between people dating.  If I thought for one second there was any game playing going on that would have been me out.  We were both keen and not at all bothered about showing that to each other.

 

Date two was all booked in…. this time a proper date and Ben had chosen our location to be Shorditch. Ben you’re so cool :)

 

N

xxx

20 June
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Both dates turn up to meet me on the same night!

Meet Marc
So Paul is still in the background and I am off on a night out with the girls in Clapham where I agreed to meet a guy I had matched with on Tinder, Yes I am on Tinder, I would highly recommend this to anyone single, its great fun! As Tinder guy walked towards me and sat down I soon realised he was totally uninteresting although very pretty to look at, I decided not to waste a night out with my friends so I left him with his to go and get myself a drink from the bar, this is where I met Marc. Oops there I am on a casual tinder date and I get talking to someone else, we exchanged numbers and a date was quickly arranged.

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Meet Jack
Whilst enjoying casual dates with Marc, in fact I was up to date 4 (still no snog though) I was chatting to several other guys on Tinder too…… isn’t this so naughty?! But everyone is doing it right? Someone really cool popped up and his name was Jack! What a handsome guy he was, only 28 which is a bit on the young side for me but chatting to him isn’t doing any harm, is it?

Meet Ben
I swiped to the right and was soon chatting to Ben. But this was different. We instantly had great banter and I got butterflies in my tummy every time the phone beeped before I had even met him. Within about ten minutes of casually chatting we joked about getting married and without sounding like a complete nut case I rang my mum and told her I felt very excited about this guy.

Get back in the Game Nicola!!!
So Ben was off to Vegas the day we started talking and I was gutted that it would be at least 11 days before I got to meet him. I needed to get my head back in the game but I really didn’t want to. I had to remind myself that I was committed to the rules in this book because I never manage to get things right so off I went on my mission to keep four guys on the hob! In all honesty I can’t really count Paul anymore because he had done his disappearing act again leaving me feeling completely used and I knew that was the last time I would let him do that, it’s my fault for getting involved with someone that didn’t want a girlfriend. So let’s say goodbye to Paul now. Bye!

 

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As Ben and I messaged each other the whole time he was away I felt so guilty about carrying on the game even though I hadn’t met him yet! Crazy huh! But I am no fool, he was single and in Vegas so I’m sure he was getting up to all sorts himself.

Dating Marc was really nice but I didn’t feel that spark in my tummy, I kept telling myself it’s not all about that and I needed to persevere. In the meantime I organised a night out to Wimbledon with Jodie and what a night it was.

I must have being feeling particularly daring because I casually invited both guys out…… I didn’t for the life of me expect them to both text me to say they was on their way.

Jodie completely freaked out because as we are standing in the bar waiting for both guys to arrive…… she literally screeches: “Nicola how the hell are you going to get away with this?” OMG OMG OMG now she had freaked me out!!!! I had a genius idea. Let’s get drunk and then we will just find this whole experience hilarious. Jodie and I started knocking back the shots and the rest is a distant memory but according to the photo evidence we had an awesome night and I got a lot of exercise running between Marc and Jack whilst Jodie distracted when necessary.

I saw Jack twice the following week but again I wasn’t getting the butterflies I so desperately wanted. What If I’m craving something that isn’t even real, what if my desire for a fairytale is above and beyond anything that is actually possible? All of a sudden The Game was not something I wanted to play anymore. What’s the point in dating loads of guys that your not really interested in just because the book tells you to? I actually even said to Simon (Poppy’s dad) I think I’m going to be single forever, He just told me I’m to fussy and always pick the idiots anyway. Thanks Si!

But what about Ben? Should I still go on a date with him despite giving up the game?

16 June
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My quest to find the man of my dreams

Its been a while since I blogged but after receiving endless tweets and emails asking for updates here I am. Check me out being in demand! :)

For those of you that haven’t followed my blogs before I am a complete open book, I like to share everything straight from the heart because I know so many of you can relate to what I have been through. In a nutshell – way too much heartache! On my quest to meet the man of my dreams I will not settle for anything less than perfection. I would like to meet a kind giving man but I know he also has to be super fun, I do not mean giving in the material sense but someone that will go above and beyond for me everyday as I would for the person I love. I am so over being with selfish, self absorbed men.

Thank god for my friends who have listened to me rant on and on about this for months!

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Let’s rewind seven months. I had been single for just under a year and no such luck on the dating circuit! A friend of mine Marc set me up on a date with his work colleague Paul and this was the first guy for a long time that I felt could be right. We got on great but before long there were a lot of red flags. Mainly he told me he didn’t want a girlfriend so we all know what this means. I carried on seeing Paul whilst still dating other guys, I guess I was hopeful that Paul would change his mind but in the meantime I wasn’t going to put my life on hold for him. The problem was all the time I was seeing Paul I was never really interested in any of the poor guys that I went on dates with so it was counter productive and a waste of time.

Paul was really confusing because one minute he would be totally full on with me and the next he would disappear. He even suggested some kind of future with me at one point and whilst deep down I knew I didn’t want to be with a guy like this long term I was somehow drawn in. Maybe it was the challenge or the need to conquest him. My friends would all say to me, Nicola you don’t actually want him, you just don’t like losing because normally you can take your pick, I wouldn’t have gone that far but maybe that’s the truth. In hindsight his lack of ambition and drive would have bored me to tears eventually anyway.

If in doubt just go out with the girls and do a few shots!

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Now we are in March and somehow stumble across a book called…… wait for it. The Power Of The P***y. With a name like this you know it is going to be an intellectual read so of course I downloaded it straight away to listen to on audio at bed time. Girls this book changed my life but it wasn’t easy!!!! I have read so many books and I will list all of my favorites at the bottom of the blog but this one for me gave me all the tools I needed to sift through a fair few men to find the man of my dreams.

Available to buy at amazon here.

The biggest lesson I learned from this book is the game! The game is not a nice game in my eyes but 100% necessary and I was fully committed even though its something I would never have done before, I have obviously NOT been getting it right so far so why not try something new.

“You need to have four guys on the go at once”

The Game

You need to have four guys on the go at once…….. as I read this my eyes popped out of my head and my jaw dropped to the ground. Four guys at once, how an earth am I going to manage this????!!!!! Let me make a very important point here, you do not sleep with any of them!!!! There is a two month rule where by each guy you are with will prove himself to you, what is he willing to do to make you feel special? Does he go that extra mile? Does he call when he says he will? Do you meet his friends? Does he still want to see you when you don’t invite him in? Ultimately if a guy is completely into you he wont mind waiting however long it takes for the good stuff, mean while he is falling head over heals in love with you. Well this is what the book says. The book tells you to treat the men as you would a hob (so random I know) The two guys that are doing the most work get to the front of the hob and receive the most attention and the other two sit at the back until they prove otherwise. My god what happened to just meeting someone and falling in Love and it just feeling right? This is how it should happen in my eyes but apparently not. Grrrrrr I have spent so long wishing for a fairytale like romance and now I have resorted in playing games!!!

I want this!

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My next blog will be revealing the four guys I put on the hob! Just give me a few days to get permission to use there pictures…. Not sure how I am going to manage this one, I am friends with them all still so I hopefully it should be easy (apart from the one I suspected had a girlfriend or some other kind of secret life – no names mentioned Paul).

In the meantime it’s me and the Princess Poppy taking on the world! :)

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As promised other books I found really good on the same subject are below.

He’s Just Not That Into You

Why Men Love B*****s

It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken

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