First lesson in love

Photo by Martin Lee / Rex features

Photo by Martin Lee / Rex features

How Fear Could Cost You Your Loved One

There are two feelings that we associate with love; there is pain and there is pleasure. If we associate pain with love we will constantly push it away. I have previously had my heart broken and have been so guilty of holding onto this association. But if we change our mentality to associate love with pleasure then we will draw it to us.

What is love?
Love to me is laughing, smiling, cuddling, understanding, GIVING, compromise, forgiving, passion, butterflies, excitement, safety and oh there are so many other words I could use.

But what if we focus on the fact that being in love can hurt… It’s a fact, it can! In doing this it will only mean that we build up barriers and essentially not give the love we are fully capable of. And when you are not fully giving your love you will be sacrificing getting that special love in return.

Life has given us a gift, this gift is called COURAGE. If we used this wonderful gift we may be afraid but we go ahead and do it anyway, and this doesn’t just apply to love. The joy we can get from using our courage is undeniably worth it. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is a book I highly recommend anyone read.

An example of Someone with Fear in Love.
This person is scared to commit her love to the man she obviously adores… Why? She has her story. But her story will come at a cost. What is the cost? Eventually her on-off boyfriend will realise the commitment is not coming and will find a wonderful girl without a story/fear. The new girlfriend will give him every bit of her heart because she doesn’t have that fear. What is the consequence? This poor girl has lost the man she adores at the cost of a fear she didn’t have the courage to face and now she has to watch her man be happy with another girl. OUCH!

I get so excited when I talk about love, I accept that with love comes both pain and pleasure but I push away the pain and embrace everything pleasurable about having a loved one.

SO if to be scared of love could cost you the happiness of giving and receiving it, why would you embrace and validate this fear when it could cost you something so God damn wonderful!

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