Learning That Children Cry… and that’s okay!

As a new mum I used to find myself going out in fear that Buzz would have an almighty meltdown in public and annoy the surrounding humans trying to enjoy their day… in the event that this occurred I used to hang my head in shame at my inability to keep the little man continuously happy 24/7. Firstly I’d sheepishly grab for his dummy. Yes. That’s right – in my moment of need I’d reach for that devilish little object designed to pacify upset babies that has attracted snobbery from those really-good-mums-who-know-exactly-how-to-read-their-offspring… needless to say, they’re far superior to mums like me who use it as a plug to stop the flowing wails – all the while frantically trying to work out what could possibly be the root of the problem. I imagine it’s a similar feeling to trying to dismantle a ticking bomb – my fingers would become clumsy as I faffed with his clothes (checking he wasn’t too hot or cold), sniffed his nappy (he could’ve done an almighty poop) and rubbed his back to check he hadn’t got wind (gas hurts). All the while I’d be spotting people watching me in my peripheral vision and would be sure I could hear tuts of annoyance… My cheeks would redden and I’d start getting all hot and sweaty. Although, thanks to my hormones and breastfeeding, this seems to be a regular state of being anyway – so nothing new on that score.

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Well, this occurred when we went for our anniversary meal in Manchester’s Rosso restaurant this week (Yes, even after Buzz’s meltdown in the same restaurant last week, we decided to go back – the food was that good!). Luckily, during this mini meltdown, we knew Buzz wanted feeding, but we still had to calm the hungry boy while we heated up his milk – let’s face it, five minutes is just too long to wait when you’re starving, so no wonder he wasn’t happy with the service Tom and I were providing!

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As expected, people were looking over and I was sure the lady behind me was annoyed… cue the attractive reddening and the sweaty pits (seriously, even my knee pits have started leaking). Fast forward half an hour and the lady kindly turned in her seat to tell me how gorgeous Buzz was. This led me to guiltily say sorry for his crying. She laughed and simply said with a shrug, ‘Children cry’, before continuing to tell me never to feel like I have to apologise for it. Not only did her words fill me with relief but the fact that I’d thought she was irritated by Buzz when she was actually admiring him left me puzzled. I know there are still people out there who get annoyed with the screams of a baby (who has no other form of communication to express his wants and desires) – but there are other people out there who understand. It’s the notion that these people exist that led me to laugh and smile with Buzz when he had a similar meltdown (again, over being fed) a few days later at a service station. Instead of hanging my head in shame and embarrassment I looked around me and into the eyes of the people glancing at me. It surprised me to see kindness. Yes, kindness and the knowing looks of people who’ve also battled with their own demanding mini humans. I can’t express how though looks lifted my heart. I vow to spread that kindness whenever I see another in such a predicament.

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Screaming babies aside (Buzz is actually very good, he just choses great times to go into panic mode), this week has been full of loveliness. Not only did I have a wonderful time celebrating two years of marriage with my gorgeous husband, but I also spent a lot of time with our families. I’d love to say that they missed me while I was in Manchester for two weeks, but, let’s face it – it was Buzz they wanted to squeeze. Nonetheless, it’s been great to be surrounded by them all and watch Buzz flash them his smiles – melting their hearts even further.

The week ahead promises more excitement as Thursday is the official publication day for ‘You’re the One That I Want’. I’ll be full of nerves thinking of people reading my creation and delving into my imagination… Aaah! Fingers crossed it goes well.

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Hope you’ve made the most of the weather this week – there’s nothing like being out in the sunshine!

Have a good one!

Gi. Xx

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16 comments

  1. You are great! I remember going into the same panic mode when my kids were that little and wanted to apologize everyone for not being a good mom (I could not make the kids shut up and be happy all the time so I figured had to be a terrible mother!). What a stupid thought!
    So, be happy, relaxed and enjoy every single moment of this beautiful little man as he will grow up soon and you’re gonna miss those moments and call them the cutest roars :-) YOU ARE THE GREATEST MOM FOR YOUR SON! And that’s what counts. Best Regards

  2. what a beautifully written blog Gi, you sound like a wonderful mum cant wait for your book to be out loved the first one xx

  3. You and Tom are such a beautiful couple, Giovanna! You’re a triple threat in regards to your talents and an absolute inspiration xo

  4. It’s incredible that when I’m reading your notes I hear your voice in my head and I can imagine all your life’s ‘adventures’. “Children cry” note to myself when I will have my own baby. It’s really cute and I’m happy that you’re meeting who are also kind. : ) When I’m watching like you talking about #TheOneThatIWant I know that must be good book,because when you talk about it you’re smiling (and I’m smiling too of course). I wish I could read it,still have a chance in your competition. Always, just always when you or Tom add on twitter or here something new I’m like ‘awww there’s nothing cuter than this ‘ but then you are like “here it is!”. Please,don’t go changing! :)
    Now I take blanket and go outside,because sun! Have a good day too!
    Lots of love to Buzz and his pretty,awesome and strong mummy! xxx

  5. You are so lovely Gi. You’re not on your own. There are loads of people that feel the same way and I’ll more than likely be twice as bad when I have a little one! Good luck with your book and I hope beautiful little Buzz is doing well!! Xx

  6. What an excellent blog! As a new mum to a gorgeous 4month old little girl I can completely relate to this!! I’d say 85% of people are so understanding, but that doesn’t stop you panicking, worrying about ruining other peoples meals etc. nice to know I’m not on my own!! Buzz is gorgeous, enjoy your time with him!

  7. Love your blogs! Never thought that actually yeah it must be quite embarrassing and stressful when they’re screeming the place down but as a non-mummy I can tell you I don’t take any notice:) glad you had a good couple weeks and a late happy anniversaries to you and tom! I had a good couple weeks too, I saw tom on Saturday night and he was amazing even though I was right at the back which sucked it would’ve been a dream to be in the ONFG zone!

  8. I couldn’t have said that better myself! I went and still go through the exact same feelings of anxiety and frustration when my bubba starts bawling in public!! Thank you for sharing your experiences and being honest! It’s exactly what us first time Mums need to hear xx

  9. I am so excited to read the one that I want. Read billy and me the other day and fell in love with it after the first chapter!

  10. Lovely post, I completely understand, it’s typical that the moment our little ones want to have a meltdown it’s at the most inappropriate time for you. I’m afraid to say that Lil G still does this at the grand old age of 3! ps i’m looking forward to reading your new book, Billy & Me was fantastic.

  11. I love reading your blogs..it’s reminding me so much of when i had my little girl back in July and i was the exact same. Infact, when we go out and the odd occasion she does have a tantrum if we’re in a restaurant (because it’s the only time she cries now) then i’m paranoid that everyone is looking and tutting so i scramble for the dummy too. Never feel guilty about the dummy, if it works for you, then you use that dummy!

  12. Hi gi, just started reading your blog, actually this is the first one (god knows why I haven’t read it before) and it it so lovely! You are ao sweet with buzz and so lucky to have a husband like tom (!!) and the cutest child ever!! I wish you all the best and so happy that you don’t have to feel awkward anymore in public! I have a problem with getting very embarrassed in public but maybe I should try and take in the smiles instead of hanging my head in shame for once!! So looking forward to reading your blogs more in the future, thank you❤️

  13. your books will be traslated ?

  14. Laura Yezagelian

    Love reading your blogs, they’re so honest :) keep up the good work x

  15. Ahh, you are fantastic parents. The pictures are lovely too :) I have asked for both your books for my birthday which is in under two weeks!

  16. Love your blog, I still meltdown at baby number 5. ( 3 older ones from 1st marriage) but with other screaming little ones just want to pick them up and give them a cuddle and mum too. Feel that might be worse from a random stranger than a tutting look..

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