THAT’S the body I used to have?! Why’d I ever complain or worry?!

I’ve always struggled with my weight – it’s gone up and down over the years like a great big yoyo bouncing on a string. I’ve always felt too big and had a certain amount of self-loathing when it comes to the topic of fat. I’m not a naturally skinny girl (and boy do I know it), but pregnancy has totally changed the way I view my pre-pregnancy figure. I’ve been looking at photos in which, at the time, I was sure I was the identical weight to a baby elephant, but now I just see a fairly normal weighing girl – hell, sometimes I’m actually pleasantly surprised with the figure looking back at me. So, now that I am bigger than normal (no self-loathing required, I’m human growing) I have a new appreciation for what I did have…

And yes, it’s what inside that counts – but we all know that there’s so much said about weight in our society, so is it really that surprising that I had such a negative outlook on my size 10/12 figure? We’re told size zero is pretty – or is it that size zero is too thin, but a six is good? I forget – or maybe it’s because the people that dictate these views change their minds on what is considered desirable on a weekly basis – one week skinny is in, but the next it’s ‘big is beautiful’. It’s so confusing, and hardly earthshattering news that I, like many others, constantly found myself despairing over the issue and feeling inadequate.

What has really hit me this week is the notion that life is ever changing… and so are our bodies. We’ll go up and down, out and in, wide and thin – depending on what we’re doing with our lives. It’s something that we have to learn to embrace and roll with, rather than beat ourselves up over. I’ve also come to realise that a part of that is obviously understanding when a little bit of exercise might be in order and enjoying the feeling of my body rising to the challenge, rather than feeling like I’m torturing it in the hope that I can be moulded into someone else’s version of beautiful.

I’m saddened when I think back to the decades (yes, decades) of hatred towards my exterior. Therefore, I’d like to take this moment to apologise to my pre-pregnancy body. Sorry I gave you such a hard time, dude. I promise to give you a little more credit in the future – and a whole lot of love to boot! I am what I am. My external self will change, it’s a fact we’ll all have to face at some point, but what’s outside will never define me.

pram

Also this week…

· Our pram arrived! Hurrah! We went for a Bugaboo Cameleon3 in black and orange. Orange is a fairly unisex colour, so we figured we were safe either way – Tom also likes the fact that it makes the pram highly visible to others, making sure people are aware of the precious cargo onboard and to steer well clear of us. Bizarrely, the day the pram arrived, I was wearing black and orange… It looked like I’d decided to dress up as the pram. An odd choice for a fancy dress costume!

· We worked out how to use the ISO-Fix base (it beeps at you when you get things right) and played around with our car seat (we opted for a Maxi-Cosi Pebble). Crumb’s carriage home is READY!

· The hospital bag has been packed! Well, almost. There’s also a huge list of things that will still be needed in the next few weeks that’ll get chucked into the bag just before we leave. I say bag, I mean suitcase. It looks as though we’re planning on staying at the hospital for a fortnight. Oopsey!

car-seat

· I had some much needed reflexology. You may remember me saying a few weeks ago that my feet and hands had become mighty sweaty… well, my feet had also swollen a little too. Nothing terrible, and it’s totally common, but it was a little uncomfortable. So this week I went to visit a local reflexologist called Maaike for a little pamper. Oh, it was sooooo good! At the end of the hour-long session I looked down to see my stumpy feet had transformed back into something quite dainty looking! I was shocked. Needless to say, I’ve booked in again for next week and will continue having this weekly pamper until Crumb arrives.

· I attended a breastfeeding class! I’ll be honest, I was a little worried I’d be asked to whip my boobs out for inspection to see if they were up to the task, but luckily there was none of that. I know breastfeeding is a bit of a touchy subject and that mums have very strong views on it – as if new mums need to feel anyone else’s judgement at a time when they already feel clueless and overwhelmed at the new challenge they’ve taken on?! My view on the topic is to do what is right for you. Your baby needs a happy mummy, not someone who feels downtrodden by motherhood or others who quickly pass judgement instead of offering support.

· Talking of emotions – I had two meltdowns this week, which I’m mentioning because I find them quite comical now (and also to reassure anyone who’s done the same that it’s quite common). One day I found myself bursting out sobbing hysterically for no reason (poor Tom) and another I wailed whilst reading Jojo Moyes’ new book The One Plus One… Could these be the start of the hormonal outbursts I’ve been warned about? Eek!

mario

The week ended with a lovely catch up with my brother on Friday who came over for some sibling love, and a family meal with the Fletchers on Sunday before sitting down to watch Gravity (flipping heck, it’s amazing – so intense!). Got to love family time!

Hope you all have a fantastic week – don’t forget it’s Pancake Day on Tuesday! I’ve got my jar of Nutella ready and waiting already! Yummy!

Lots of love,

Gi. Xx

17 comments

  1. Hi Gi!
    With this blog you just describe me, I’m feel bad with my body, I think I’m so big altough I know (sometimes) that I don’t fat. I know how you felt and now I want to feel the same that you with your body.

    I can’t wait for know if the crumb is a boy or a girl, only a few weeks! Are your nervous? Excited? How are Tom about that? I hope it goes well!

    Thanks for your blogs, I feel identified with something that you say and your experiences, you are my example to follow; so, thanks you so much.

    Have a lovely week Mrs. Gi Fletcher and future mum!
    @zeenizen
    xxx

  2. Woooow I really loved this week’s blog!!! First off its so amazing to know how you have been feeling about your weight over the years, its true that our society seems to be really worried about it but yeah definitely self-confidence is very important to face some topics!!

    I did not know this about you Gi! And its so amazing. To know this cause it helps me to know I have been the only one, to me Gi your a very strong, inspiring and absolutely GORGEOUS Lady and I really really hope to be as sweet and lovely as you are.

    Love you so much lady
    Belle Xxx

    (PS: In case you wanna know who I am, my twitter is @McflyJellyBean)

  3. Woooow I really loved this week’s blog!!! First off its so amazing to know how you have been feeling about your weight over the years, its true that our society seems to be really worried about it but yeah definitely self-confidence is very important to face some topics!!

    I did not know this about you Gi! And its so amazing. To know this cause it helps me to know I have been the only one, to me Gi your a very strong, inspiring and absolutely GORGEOUS Lady and I really really hope to be as sweet and lovely as you are.

    Love you so much lady Belle Xxx

    (PS: In case you wanna know who I am, my twitter is @McflyJellyBean)

  4. I’m really enjoying this blog, you have a great style! I also love what you said about body image, it’s something that ladies need to be hearing a lot more often in the media.

  5. It’s sooooo interesting reading about all of your adventures and experiences!! I can’t wait to see next weeks!
    I’m currently looking at complimentary therapies as part of my health and social care course and reflexology looks amazing! I’m quite convinced myself to have treatment but I don’t -really- need it =)
    Wishing you the best!!!

  6. Your such an inspiration! I love reading your blog, your so funny!x

  7. Girl, first of all: I love you!
    Since I was a kid (now I’m 21) my weight always goes up and down over the years and it drives me insane, ’cause society makes me feel awful with my own body. I guess most of the women feel the need to be skinny these days, which is so wrong, in my opinion. Many of them go on crazy diets (including me) and things that are bad for health just for looking beauty when they already are! I really like one song from the band Simple Plan called “Crazy” that talks about that.
    Anyway, I can’t wait to see baby Fletcher! Do you have any guess if it’s a boy or a girl? Names ideas? This baby is going to be so loved! Hope everything turns ok at the hospital when the big time comes!
    What’s the mom’s thing you have done so far? I just love this baby world, everything seems so cute and adorable and all the women look so pretty!
    Well, nice post today and can’t wait for next!
    With love, Manndy :)

  8. Kelly Jane Stockbridge

    A truthful & entertaining read :)) Really enjoyed this piece, will definitely seek out this blog again :))

  9. I would just like to say you are total inspiration and an incredible role model to young girls. I am 19 and struggle with how I feel about my weight. You see all these skinny celebrity’s and think you have to look like them. But then you come along looking absolutely incredible before and whilst pregnant and say hey every girls feels the same and we should just love ourselves. You have just made me feel a little better about myself. Thank you so much and please carry on doing wonderful blogs :) x

  10. Hi Giovanna, I love reading your blogs all the time, there just so interesting. Hope everything goes well with the baby.
    from Jodie
    Xx

  11. Reading this blog makes me feel like I’m your friend, and once a week we have a long conversation! This is so amazing! I’m a reader / fan (of your book and your blog) and this proximity makes me feel strangely happy! Hope you and Tom are feeling great!
    Kisses from your FRIEND,
    Sofia
    ps: hope see you one day ! <3

    XOXO

  12. Hello good that you care for you and your family, I loved the stroller for your baby … Keep going well!

  13. hi just a note to say cant wait for your new book were due march 20 th with our 3rd baby we hav 2 beautiful girls an this ones a boy!!!! ive loved ur blogs an just wanted to say good luck xxxx

  14. Samantha Golden

    Well Giovanna I have to tell you how much I love your column each week! Being a mum to my gorgeous 5 month old baby girl I totally understand everything you are feeling right now!
    I feel like you identify with every women/mummy to be out there.
    Me and my husband also chose the maxi cosi pebble and bugaboo cameleon3!! Love both :)
    Thank you for writing this every week! High light of every Monday.
    In a really really non weird creepy way I’d love to be mates with you!
    Can’t wait for the news of crumbs arrival!

  15. I can so strongly relate to this – the only positive I can take from this is that after decades (yes, decades for me too) of self loathing, the post pregnancy body has been slightly easier to adapt to. Looking back at pre pregnancy pictures of myself, I’m staggered, my husband has photos on his phone that I didn’t even realise were me – final realisation of the body dysmorphia that has depressed me my whole adult life has enabled me to relax, accept and congratulate myself and my body for the mighty feat it has accomplished over the past 10 months and is continuing to now as I feed my 6 week old baby. I do want to shift the remaining stone of baby weight but it can wait, I’m too busy looking at, loving and caring for my baby and that is more important than my love handles for now! xx

  16. Gi, ive just read this! You have total inspired me that my weight doesnt really matter, im so glad i clicked on this link! Thank you soo much!! :) and cant wait til crumb arrives ;) your both going to be amazing parents! Xxx

  17. wow..I’m so touched, thanks for enlightening me over this topic.. I’m pretty desperate with my body which didn’t want to be back to the size before my second pregnancy.. but your writing made me realize, the outside will never define me..

Leave a comment

*

Featuring WPMU Bloglist Widget by YD WordPress Developer